Oscar-Winners According to Agnes


I struggled trying to figure out what metrics to use when choosing my Oscar winners. Like, do I pick the movie I thought was most impactful for the movie I liked watching the most? The one I thought was more important or the one that was most visually stunning? In the end I employed metrics that are secrets even to me!

These are not my predictions but rather the movies / shorts that would win if I were calling the shots.

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

The nominees

Timothée Chalamet
“Call Me by Your Name”

Denzel Washington
“Roman J. Israel, Esq.”

Daniel Day-Lewis
“Phantom Thread”

Gary Oldman
“Darkest Hour”

Daniel Kaluuya
“Get Out”

My Choice

I saw all five of these movies and my vote’s going to Denzel Washington in Roman J. Israel, Esq. Is this because it’s the only category this great movie is nominated for? It may be, I don’t know. This was a close call between him and Timothée Chalamet but in the end, I chose old Denzel himself.

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

The nominees

Christopher Plummer
“All the Money in the World”

Woody Harrelson
“Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”

Sam Rockwell
“Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”

Willem Dafoe
“The Florida Project”

Richard Jenkins
“The Shape of Water”

My Choice

I did not see “All the Money in the World” so it’s possible it would have been my favorite, but god damn I loved Richard Jenkins in “The Shape of Water” so much that I highly doubt it. There’s no close second here – Jenkins wins my vote by a landslide.

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Nominees

Sally Hawkins
“The Shape of Water”

Margot Robbie
“I, Tonya”

Frances McDormand
“Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”

Saoirse Ronan
“Lady Bird”

Meryl Streep
“The Post”

My Choice

Good gravy, this one is hard. For me, Meryl Streep and Sally Hawkins are quickly dismissed. I liked both of their performances but they weren’t in the same realm as the others. As much as I love McDormand, and as much as I loved 100% of the things about Lady Bird, my pick has to be Margot Robbie in “I, Tonya.” For me, this was the most transformative performance.

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Nominees

Octavia Spencer
“The Shape of Water”

Lesley Manville
“Phantom Thread”

Laurie Metcalf
“Lady Bird”

Allison Janney
“I, Tonya”

Mary J. Blige
“Mudbound”

My Choice

If anyone besides Lesley Manville wins this I’ll be happy but the standout for me was Mary J. Blige in “Mudbound.” I’d never heard of this made-by-Netflix movie until the Oscar nominations came out and it is fantastic and worthy of every nomination it got. Second up would be a tie between the other three – Laurie Metcalf is so funny and terrifying and sad and just relatable and Allison Janney is a terrible villain that I love to hate so much, especially with all the bird-eating-her-ears stuff that’s going on, and then there’s Octavia Spencer, who’s brilliant as always. This is such a strong category.

Adapted Screenplay

Nominees

Aaron Sorkin
“Molly’s Game”

James Ivory
“Call Me by Your Name”

Scott Frank & James Mangold and Michael Green; Story by James Mangold
“Logan”

Scott Neustadter & Michael H. Weber
“The Disaster Artist”

Virgil Williams and Dee Rees
“Mudbound”

My Choice

I’ve seen four of the five but The Disaster Artist is the only one I’ve also read the book it’s adapted from. As a result, it gets my vote. Molly’s Game was a not-good movie and I don’t know why it’s here. Also, I have a feeling that even if I’d read the other works, The Disaster Artist would still be my top choice because not only was the book fantastic but it was something I would have thought was impossible to transform into a movie. Wrong, wrong, wrong – the movie is great.

Animated Feature

Nominees

“Ferdinand”

“The Breadwinner”

“Loving Vincent”

“The Boss Baby”

“Coco”

My Choice

I’ve only seen two of these: The Breadwinner and Coco. I’d be happy if either won but Coco gets my vote. I think The Breadwinner is a more important story, and that did weigh into my decision, but I also think that Coco is an important movie because it’s the first Disney movie to celebrate Mexican culture. Both are great but in the end, I considered the fact that I was happy to go see Coco twice and would have been happy to see it again, while The Breadwinner was not something I wanted to watch over and over again.

Animated Shorts

Nominees

“Negative Space”

“Lou”

“Revolting Rhymes”

“Dear Basketball”

“Garden Party”

My Choice

I’ve only seen three of the five – Lou, Dear Basketball, and Garden Party. I liked all three but Garden Party, the story of a bunch of frogs hanging out in a mansion after a mob-related slaughter, was the weirdest and best, imho.

Best Picture

Nominees

“Call Me by Your Name”

“Get Out”

“Lady Bird”

“The Post”

“Phantom Thread”

“Dunkirk”

“The Shape of Water”

“Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”

“Darkest Hour”

My Choice

For me, the choice is between Lady Bird, The Shape of Water, and Three Billboards. Call Me By Your Name was good and dreamy and all the things people said, but god damn I could have stood for it to be like 45 minutes shorter. Get Out was great but I don’t think it was good enough to be nominated for best picture and am a little confused by its presence on the list. The Post was great but in a very Isn’t This a Great Hollywood Movie kind of a way – like, very formulaic, no surprises, no innovation. Darkest Hour was the same – plus slow.

So then we have Lady Bird, which was funny and heartfelt and 100% what I want in a movie. We have The Shape of Water, which was the dreamiest movie I’ve ever seen and made me SO HAPPY. And then we have Three Billboards, which was funny and horrifying and violent and was supremely acted all around.

In the end, once again, I have to go with the movie that I want to see over and over again, which is The Shape of Water. It was such a unique movie, unlike anything I’d ever seen, and just so moody in the perfect way.

Cinematography

Nominees

Rachel Morrison
“Mudbound”

Hoyte van Hoytema
“Dunkirk”

Roger Deakins
“Blade Runner 2049”

Bruno Delbonnel
“Darkest Hour”

Dan Laustsen
“The Shape of Water”

My Choice

This was extremely easy! While I was watching Mudbound I thought to myself, God damn, this cinematography is amazing and I’m pretty sure that’s a thing I’ve thought zero times before in my life.

Directing

Nominees

Paul Thomas Anderson
“Phantom Thread”

Jordan Peele
“Get Out”

Guillermo del Toro
“The Shape of Water”

Christopher Nolan
“Dunkirk”

Greta Gerwig
“Lady Bird”

My Choice

I don’t know of a situation in which I wouldn’t vote for the same picture for best director and best picture? They are so intertwined for me that I have to give this to The Shape of Water.

Documentary Feature

Nominees

“Last Men in Aleppo”

“Abacus: Small Enough to Jail”

“Faces Places”

“Strong Island”

“Icarus”

My Choice

All of these movies deserve to be awarded best documentary and I’m going to be happy no matter who wins. That said, I’d immediately take Last Men in Aleppo out and Strong Island too. Both are great movies but the other three are better. Then I’d take out Faces Places because, while it’s an adorable, touching, beautiful film, it didn’t have the impact of the final two.

That leaves us with Abacus: Small Enough to Jail, which is about the 2008 financial crisis and the only bank that ever faced criminal charges and how fucking ridiculous it was that it was this bank. It almost wins for me but in the end, Icarus is such a bizarre, once-in-a-lifetime documentary that starts out as one thing and then turns into something SO FAR AWAY from what it initially was that it blows my mind. Such a weird experience to watch that film!

Documentary Short

Nominees

“Knife Skills”
“Edith+Eddie”
“Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405”
“Heroin(e)”
“Traffic Stop”

My Choice

This may be the hardest category for me to choose a winner. They were all so, so good. That said, Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405, which is about an artist struggling with various disabilities and mental health issues and the unique richness in her life, wins for me. The others were so very good but this one was sort of magical and was about a variety of issues so it gets my vote.

Live-Action Short

Nominees

“My Nephew Emmett”
“The Silent Child”
“DeKalb Elementary”
“The Eleven O’Clock”
“Watu Wote / All of Us”

My Choice

I will be happy no matter who wins as these were all solid choices. The Silent Child gets my vote because it’s the most visually artistic and because I think it tells a story that needs to be told. Then again, so do all the others? So these are some razor-thin margins I’ve voting on.

Original Screenplay

Nominees

Guillermo del Toro and Vanessa Taylor; Story by Guillermo del Toro
“The Shape of Water”

Jordan Peele
“Get Out”

Greta Gerwig
“Lady Bird”

Emily V. Gordon and Kumail Nanjiani
“The Big Sick”

Martin McDonagh
“Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”

My Choice

Here’s Lady Bird‘s only win for me, even though it was perhaps my favorite movie from last year. It’s such a quick, fast-paced, funny film and I think all its best parts are shoved into the writing. Yes, the director did a great job and the performances are top notch but this is a script that it would have been hard to do poorly, while I feel that the other scripts were made into movies that could easily have gone wrong.

You’ll notice that I skipped a bunch of categories that I either don’t care about or don’t have an opinion on. It’s okay everyone – this isn’t real voting!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s